After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize