i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
