so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
