Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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