redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
