Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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