just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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