Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
