I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
