he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
