his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
