ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
