so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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