it wasn't lemon gatorade
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
