sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
