so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
