I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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