No subtext here. People are naked.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
