Actions speak louder than pants.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
