my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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