I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
