last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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