she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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