You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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