My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
