no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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