I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize