If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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