no. you can't hotbox the world.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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