I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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