hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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