Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
