it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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