i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
