so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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