I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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