hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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