Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
