they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
