Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
