imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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