well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
