I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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