Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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