If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
