i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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