Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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