I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize