just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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