last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
