So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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