why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
