I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
