I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize