No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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