Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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