mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
