We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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