In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
