i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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