omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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