Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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