you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
