in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
