i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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