Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I look better un-naked...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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