You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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