We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
