i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
