does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
