Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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